Be honest about your public speaking experience/abilities:
Unless you are a seasoned public speaker (and maybe even if you are) the biggest worry for you is probably the nervousness and anxiety that goes along with actually performing the ceremony in front of an audience. Glossophobia is the fear of public speaking. According to one website,
“As many as 75% people have glossophobia. Statistically, far more of us claim that we would prefer death to giving a speech; even comedian Jerry Seinfeld used to joke that at a funeral, most people would rather be lying in the casket than delivering the eulogy.””
So you're a little worried about facing your greatest fear... with the added pressure of wanting to deliver a great performance for the bride and groom, whom you care deeply about. This can certainly be overwhelming and you may find yourself searching for excuses to back out or say no.
I have three suggestions for you. Number 1, DO IT! We are talking about a chance to confront and overcome one of your greatest fears. This is a life changing opportunity! A great speaker once said,
“Move out of your comfort zone. You can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new.”
Number two, communicate your fears to the couple. Chances are that the couple do not expect a polished and professional performance. If they did, they would have hired a professional, not an amateur. Couples typically use an amateur officiant because they want a personal, heartfelt, and emotional ceremony. That is something YOU can deliver BETTER than a professional!
Number three, use the numerous resources readily available to help you tackle your fear and grow as a person. The First-Time Officiant eBook offers extensive tips, strategies, and rehearsal methods to help calm your fears. There are numerous speaking courses available online that can help as well.
Still not convinced you can do it? Hopefully a few insights into the amateur officiant experience will sway you...
The great secret of amateur officiating is that YOU DON"T HAVE TO DELIVER A PERFECT SERVICE! The novelty, uniqueness, and emotional connection of an amateur officiant negate the audiences expectation of a flawless performance. The story you deliver is what they will connect to and remember, not they way that you deliver that story.
“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
The audience wants to forgive your mistakes! When people find out that the ceremony will be performed by an amateur officiant, they often think to themselves what it would be like to do such a thing. For most people the first thought they have is, "that would be nerve racking!" So they are sympathetic with what you are trying to do, and quick to dismiss and forgive any blunders you may make. Additionally, you probably know most of the crowd, making them even more likely to forgive. Your love for the couple will be obvious in your ceremony, and will outweigh any mistakes you make.
You will stumble, mis-speak, and will NOT be perfect! So the key is not to fight it, but to prepare for recovery when it happens. The First-Time Officiant eBook extensively outlines tips and exercises for quickly recovering and moving on when you do slip up.
Lastly, keep in mind what is important when the ceremony is all over. The MESSAGE and STORY of the couples journey is what is important, and that is what the audience will walk away remembering. Your delivery or mistakes are not what will endure in their minds!